Something I’ve promised myself to work on lately is this notion of keeping score. Whether we realize it or not, I think it’s often our our instinct to keep a mental tally of all our moments of sacrifice and bigger-person-hood — especially in relationships. You know the tally I’m talking about, right? “Well *I* washed the dishes last night AND the night before.” “*I’ve* been making more of an effort than you.” “This is the third time so-and-so has asked me for a ride.” It could be our partners, our friends, our family members, or even larger groups like our communities.
What I’ve realized is that keeping score rarely ends in any kind of victory. Instead it conditions us for disappointment, resentment, and passive-aggressiveness, none of which are feelings or qualities I want to possess. So, instead of racking up that mental tally, I challenge myself (and you) to give generously without expectation. To be the bigger person with no hidden agenda or need for reciprocity, because when we give graciously we inspire others to do the same and THAT is when everyone truly wins.