Why Is It So Hard For Us To Ask For Help When We Need It?

Happy Monday, dear friends! 

I have all kinds of excitement to share with you today! We’ve got a new product in the shop; my boyfriend, Jason, launches his biggest project to date tomorrow(!!) which will include a special offer for Self-Made Society members; and in completely unrelated but still awesome news, the great Liz Gilbert releases her latest book Big Magic tomorrow(which you should definitely go grab right now!)

Phew! Holy cow, fall is coming in HOT! (But, like, literally hot… we’ve had some scorchers here in California. I’m ready for it to cool down!)

Perhaps the biggest news from the past week though is that Made Vibrant is no longer just a one-woman shop

Last week I welcomed the ah-mazing Laura to the Made Vibrant team (what? There’s a team now? This is crazy!). She’ll be acting as my creative assistant to help manage the day-to-day operations of the business and continue to keep the fun products/programming we have planned running smoothly. (Thank you to everyone in the community that reached out about the position! I was blown away by the caliber of responses.) 

I’m planning to post a more formal introduction of Laura on the blog soon so you all can get to know her better but If you see any email responses or social media commenting from her, just know that she’s a soulful creative through and through and please welcome her with open arms! 

This past week has been an amazing process for me as I’m learning how to let go of some of the tasks/projects that have been solely mine for…well… ever. Since the beginning of Made Vibrant! It’s this crazy combination of freedom and apprehension. But DEFINITELY more freedom than anything else. 

In fact, after just two days of having Laura on board, I found myself wondering in my head over and over “Why didn’t I do this SOONER?!” 

Which brings me to today’s topic at hand: asking for help

 
 

And I’m not just referring to hiring someone for your business. I mean asking for help in all the various facets in our life. 

Help with raising your kids. Help with learning a new skill. Help with navigating the inevitable emotional twists and turns of our journeys. 

Asking for help is something I’ve struggled with in the past A LOT. 

I’ve been fiercely independent since I was a kid, and I’ve always hated that feeling of being incapable or ill-equipped. Whether it was a simple school project or even a task I didn’t know how to do when I got into the working world, I would do everything in my power to avoid reaching out for help at all costs.

When it came time to start my business, I wanted to prove (to myself or to others, who knows which mattered more) that I was smart enough or savvy enough or strong enough to figure out this whole entrepreneurship thing myself. I was so careful not to ask fellow peers how they did something for fear that I would look a) like a complete NEWB and b) like I just wanted to stand on their shoulders instead of logging the hours myself.

If I’m being honest, I think a part of me felt like if I reached my goals by way of asking others for help, that somehow my success would be diminished. That it would feel less mine.

Now I've realized that couldn't be further from the truth.

I’ve found that by and large other people want to be included in your journey. They want to help you accomplish your goals. And if you reach a personal goal by way of some talented co-conspirators, well then hey a victory party is way more fun when you’re not dancing alone! 

Yes, we all want to feel strong. We all want to feel capable.

But there is nothing weak about using the collective knowledge and skills of the people around you.

Not a single one of us has every positive attribute on the planet. We all have this careful mix of strengths and weaknesses, of virtues and flaws, and when we team up, we have the ability to become a stronger, more well-rounded force to be reckoned with.  

I mean, what’s the point of being on a planet with 7 billion other people if you can’t phone a friend every once in a while? 

I guess my point today is this:

Reach out and utilize the people around you. 

Your challenge this week is to identify one area of your life that you're struggling to navigate alone and to ask one person for help. 

I can't believe I tried to juggle all the various aspects of my business by myself for as long as I did. Not only do I feel a huge sense of relief that I now have an extra pair of hands in Laura, but surprisingly I've also found that I have someone to reflect my values back to me and keep me (and the business) anchored to my mission.

Thanks to all of you that have helped me in the past, with your encouragement, your ideas and your support. I hope I can continue to be a helpful force in your life as well!

Wishing you all a happy and helpful week! 

 

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This post first appeared in my Monday newsletter to Self-Made Society -- Made Vibrant's email community for soulful creatives. Sign up and you'll get instant access to my e-book, A Year Made Vibrant, with over 50 of my past weekly newsletters.

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